I met my husband in high school. I was painfully shy back then, but we hung out with the same group of people at lunch. I would sit with my best friend and watch him (not in a stalker sort of way haha), he would go on and on about the most random things and I loved to hear him talk. One day, I told my friend “I’m going to marry that boy someday”. She responded with “You don’t even know his name”. Again, this was totally out of my character, but something inside me told me to go for it, so I walked over to him and said “Hi. What’s your name?” He said “Why?” and without even thinking, I responded “That’s interesting. Is that a family name?”, and he smiled and said “I like that, my name is Steve.”
At the time I was casually dating someone else, as was he. He would talk about breaking up with said girlfriend, and I wasn’t too impressed with my guy at the time, but we were saying these things for different reasons, not because we were planning on being together ourselves. A few months passed, we casually talked when we saw each other and such. He was a senior and I was a sophomore, and he graduated early that first semester, so I didn’t see him at all second semester. I figured that was the end of it. Then one day, I was talking to a buddy of mine, and mentioned that I was having a party for my 16th birthday, and wished I could invite Steve. My buddy said “Oh, I know him, let me give you his number.” I was thrilled. I called him a few weeks later and invited him. He came and we hit it off instantly (we were both single at this point, this was months later) and became official the next day.
We were inseparable. We fell for each other hard and fast. He was the one who actually said “I love you” first, and not in the way that most teen guys do just to get some haha, but it was random and heartfelt, and I knew he meant it. I was so high from my feelings for him, I was a completely different person, but in a good way.
After about a year and a half, things started to get a bit rocky. He cheated on me twice, told me about it, and after a while, I forgave him and took him back. We would fight, break up on and off, and it just wasn’t the same. There were a lot of things going on in both of our lives at the time.
On New Year’s Eve going into 2002, we went to a party at a friend’s house. A friend of ours that had been flirting with me relentlessly for months when Steve and I were on the rocks was there. The night went on, and as we were getting ready to leave, my friend pulled me off to the side to talk. We were hanging out, and suddenly Steve came into the room as I was adjusting the shirt that I was wearing (it didn’t fit right and kept riding up), and immediatly thought something else was going on, which it wasn’t. He left me there, with my purse still in his car. I was devestated. A few days later, I got my purse back (I had to go to his apartment and get it from his roommates, he refused to talk to me), and we were no more. I was beyond depressed. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or function in everyday society. I would go to school (this was my senior year) like a zombie everyday, just going through the motions until I graduated.
Later that summer, we actually started speaking again. We ended up hooking up of two seperate occasions, just before I left for college, and I thought that there was some hope there. I went to school and stayed in contact with him via internet and phone. I asked him to drive down to see me (I was about 4 hours away from home), and he said he would try. About a week went by, and when I called him again, he said that he had started dating someone else. Again, I was devestated, but for some reason couldn’t stop loving him. I found out 3 months later through a friend that he was getting married. I couldn’t believe it. We were together for the better part of two years, and he knew this chic for three months. I went home for Christmas break and saw him a few times while I was there (I was staying at a friend’s house that he was moving out of). I wanted to tell him that he was making a mistake and that WE were supposed to be together, but I wanted to respect him, so I didn’t. I later found out that he wanted me to say those things. His friends tried to talk him out of it, but he’s stubborn and wouldn’t listen. He was lonely and didn’t want to do the long distance thing, and admits to this day that it was the biggest mistake of his life. I even had two of his closest friends and himself tell me that the day before he got married, the three of them went hiking, and he said “Well, I’m going to marry (insert my name here) tomorrow”. The stopped and said “Dude, you mean (insert other girl’s name here)”, and he said “Oh yeah, that’s what I meant”.
So years went by, we would email each other about twice a year to see how the other was doing. He ended up having a son in that time (my now stepson), and I had a daughter. My relationship with my daughter’s father was going terribly (he was a heavy drinker), and his relationship was failing as well (she cheated on him). While I was pregnant (I was 22 at the time), my friends acted different towards me, like they weren’t sure how to act around me, so I felt alone. I emailed him asking parenting advice, since he had a son. He came by my work on several occassions to talk and give me things like books and such. After my daughter was born, he offered to give me a playpen that his son didn’t use anymore. He came by to drop it off, and I showed him my daughter. He got within 5 feet of her and then said congradulations and immediatly left. He later said it was because he imagined that that was our baby, and that he left because he didn’t want to cry in front of me.
Months went by and my daughter’s father and I had just gotten into a HUGE fight. I was crying on the floor, and I said “God, I know this isn’t who I’m meant to be with, please, send me someone who will make me happy.” A few days later, he emailed me and asked if I would like to go out for coffee one day after work. I went, and the feelings were still there, though we didn’t tell each other, but we both knew what the other was thinking. We danced around it as the weeks went by, but we both knew that we were brought back together for a reason. Eventually he said that he couldn’t stand it anymore, he just had to tell me how he felt, that he loved me, he always did, even during the 5 years that he was married (he was a few months away from divorce at this point, towards the end of the seperation period), and that he wasn’t asking me to leave my daugher’s father, but he just wanted to let me know how he felt. Of course I felt the same way, and I talked to my boyfriend about it and he was actually cool with it. We both knew that we were at the end of the rope anyway, so my boyfriend said “Well, if you love him, you should be with him”. So we got back together that December (2006).
I wanted to take a trip with him for New Year’s, but wasn’t sure if my mother would watch my daughter for me. He told me that he would ask her for me, and did so at my family’s Christmas party. He took her to the side (and I had no idea at this point) and told her that he would like to take me on a trip for New Year’s and ask me to marry him, and if that was alright and if she would watch my daughter for me. My mom always liked him, and was so happy that we were back together, and she said of course. I just thought we were going on the trip for fun. When we got to our destination, we were walking along a dock (we were at the beach), and he handed me a ring box. I just stood there. I opened it and there was a note inside, just a note. It was a beautiful letter, explaining his feelings for me and asking me to marry him. Of course I said yes! I thought it was ironic that we ended our relationship on New Year’s Eve 5 years ago, and then he asked me to marry him on New Year’s Eve 5 years later. We were married on May 26th, 2007.
He was my first and only love. Sure, I dated other people during those 5 years, but my heart always belonged to him, and his to me. I think that maybe it was because we had a lot of growing up to do, because honestly if we had gotten married when we were younger, we probably wouldn’t be married today. We both had to really understand what love was, and even though those were the hardest 5 years of my life emotionally, I’m so thankful that I have my husband now. We had our daughter together on Jan. 21, 2008. Of course, we always wanted 2 or 3 kids of our own together, but we have our two from our previous relationships, so she’s the last, we can’t handle more than 3 kids haha. We love all of our children, my stepson’s mother isn’t around much, and my daughter’s father lives in another state, though he does call and send money and visits once a year. My ex sees my husband as a father figure in my daugher’s life, and doesn’t resent him in any way. He’s moved on and is in a relationship with a woman that I have met and like. We get along better now that we ever did when we were together.
So there’s my story. Long, I know, and there’s a lot that I left out for the sake of time, but that’s the gist of it. A real Romeo and Juliet type romance, but with a happy ending. 🙂