It was a strange February evening. It was raining cats and dogs that evening and rains in February are not very usual. Her heart was sinking with every thunder that echoed in sky, she felt a strange voice trying to break through the walls of her heart. She had an intuition that something unusual is on its way. May be it was just a random feeling.
He was busy with his friends, intoxicating his system with continuous pour of rum and vodka in his tummy. He was a light drinker and he used to get high in just a couple of shots. He always stayed in control. It was 9pm and it had been raining sine last 5 hours. He pulled over his car in driveway and rushed to his home. Her heart was still sulking with a discomfort. Coincidentally she received his message, it said “I miss you”.
Nothing seems to be unusual about this but there was something unbelievable about this just like that rainy February evening. She got a communication from him after 12 years. She rubbed her eyes, looked at the name again and she was still in dilemma. She was confused between a dream and reality. She splashed cold water on her face and read those words again. She wasn’t able to believe it, she wasn’t sure if this message was meant for her or if it was delivered to her accidentally.
She reverted back with a rude “Are you sure its meant for me and not someone else?”.
He still wasn’t in his senses and she lost hers because of this guy who managed to stay away for more than a decade. Her phone buzzed again and it was his reply in affirmation. She was shocked, really shocked. How can your first love manage to stay away from you for this long period and how can he simply text you as if nothing ever happened. She was curious to know the answers of trillions of question.
She rang him. A voice on the other end of the line whispered “Disha”. She still couldn’t believe it, she was furious. Without any ‘hello’, she bombarded him with questions. “Where were you all these years”, “Didn’t you miss me”, “I tried contacting you but why did you ignore me”, “can we talk”, “Sam say something”.
He was silent and this silence was killing her even more. He whispered “I still love you” and instead of reacting to love, she yelled “Will you answer my questions first”.
He knew it wasn’t the right time to discuss this so he invited her for dinner the very next day. That night was the longest night of her lifetime, she couldn’t sleep even for a minutes. Her questions were poking her like a sharp needle. She kept asking herself if she should meet him and she was embarrassed to face him.
She faintly remembers the last time they met. They were young and they were in love once upon a time. That day 12 years ago she took her decisions to leave him behind in life. He opposed her decision but she hardly cared. She had no reasons for what she did on 3/5/2002. She broke the heart of her first love. Later that night he called her and tried to change her decision but when nothing worked out he hung up saying “Its an end, even if u realize your mistake, I won’t let you come back in my life even after 10 years from now”.
He made her promise that she won’t ever call out for him, If one fine day, she come across him, instead of approaching him she should choose to ignore him. She in return said that she won’t ever miss him. It was an end of a bond. She was sure that nothing of that sort would happen. But he still tried to win her back. He kept emailing her, calling her but all in vain. He never lost hope until next couple of years but constant ignorance killed his patience and he decided to get into a rebound relationship. Emotions stopped having an effect over his mind and his eyes. The only reason for his wet eyes was her. He dated a lot of girls after that and eventually stopped being bothered about the girl who broke him.
With time even she got into a relationship with one of her classmate but unfortunately it lasted only a month. It was a bad relationship which taught her a lot, moreover sh
e realized the value of her first love. She realized that he over-pampered her and always went an extra mile for her. Its true that a bad relationship teaches us how to value the person who love us the most. Ironically, this was not the case with him. He changed for the worst and broke hearts.
A month after the enlightenment she called him up and he disconnected the call with just one single statement, “do you remember my words”.
She never thought that this would happen. Inside, it killed him but he never gave chances to people. Over the years they got used to each others absence, love still existed but she never allowed any other guy to come close to her after that very incident. She used to miss all the good and the bad time but she knew, his mind won’t change. Its said “what goes around, comes around” and now she was in the receiving end, she was getting the taste of her own medicines. With this storm in her head, she fell asleep and got up the next afternoon. She was excited to see him. They were meeting late in the evening and she was excited. She wore her favorite dress and his favorite perfume. Years passed by but she used the same fragrance which he used to love. And they finally met after a separation of almost 12 years.
It was a cold windy night. She was shivering with cold because of the dress she wore or may be it was the fear of facing him. They met and he briefly hugged her. She wanted the time to pause because of the feeling of being together again. Her eyes were brimming with hope once again. Hope of being one of those cute inseparable couple. She lost her appetite when she saw him. The last meal they shared together was a pizza and an ice cream at nirulas. Both of them were thinking about those sweet memories. They occupied a seat in the terrace garden of the lounge and their eyes met after years. With that he noticed her shivers so he simply held her hand and asked her to calm down. Even after 12 years he knew her more than she knew herself. His touch made her reach the state of trance. She was lost in her own dream-world which she created in his absence.
Again, she fired her questions. She got all her answered today. He still used to love her a bit, first love never dies. He asked her if she missed him ever in all these years and all she could say was that she missed him but she knew that he won’t left her have a share in his life ever again . The next thing he told her was over-killing. She lost the will to live when he told her that he is in a relationship with a girl since last 2 years. She couldn’t stop her eyes from dripping. She tried rushing to the washroom but he held her hand before she could get up and he hugged her and whipped off her tears with his warm hand. That hug acted like a pain killer. She thought that why would he hold me so tight if he is in love with someone else. She felt love in his embrace but she could never find the answer of this question.
They shared each and every incident of their life with each other in last couple of hours. He told her that she was his first love and it was the purest form of love he had ever known in his life because they were too young that time. Her eyes were wet again because she always had a guilt about the fact that she walked over his heart. But somehow she wanted to rectify her mistake and win over him again. She asked him a short walk in that foggy night. He accompanied her for a walk in the garden, she held his hand close to her heart. The fog was dense and she felt love around her. She was happy that life gave her another chance. She stopped, hugged him as tight as she could and bought her lips close to his. They met. They touched each others soul after a long gap and nothing seemed different. With every passing second she pulled him closer to her and he was left astonished. He never expected this to happen last night. Finally he managed to push her away and in a harsh tone he said “don’t you remember my words”. She broke down again.
She wanted him more then ever, she knew what she was loosing. She never wanted to feel that void again and she was too scared to loose him again in midst of all the chaos of the world. She questioned him that why is he punishing her for something that happened long ago. He had no answer and he suggested her that she should leave now because it was already 1am.
She was sad yet she was brimming with hope for a brighter tomorrow. She believed that no prayer goes unanswered. She was happy that she had him back in her life, even if he was just a friend now. That night she embraced sleep with a believe that they would be together once again but on contrary he fell asleep with a decision that he won’t let her in with a tag of a couple. And it marked a sad end of a beautiful night.